


Raising a Strider (A story before Sburb)

by Maid_of_Void (Maid_of_Hope)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Being Dave, Bi, Bisexuality, Bro - Freeform, Bro and Dave - Freeform, Cute, Depressed dave, F/F, F/M, Growing Up, Homosexuality, Internet Friends, Love, M/M, No Sex, No Smut, Other, Sad, Sadstuck, Slice of Life, before the game, being dirk, bro to bro, daddy - Freeform, dave is gay, dave strider - Freeform, ectobabies, headcanons, life - Freeform, paternal love, poor Striders, son - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-26
Updated: 2014-12-01
Packaged: 2018-02-27 03:40:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2677661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maid_of_Hope/pseuds/Maid_of_Void
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dirk Strider doesn't know anything about being a dad. Or a brother. He grew up broke, scrounging for food. He was raised by a puppet in Houston. His only human role model was a record shop owner named Dave Strider. One day, Dirk finds that the record shop has disappeared and no one has any recollection of it and the only thing left at the site of the Record shop was a baby and a note that will change his life forever.</p>
<p>This is a story about Bro raising Dave! It has nothing to do with the game until the very end. Beware of the depression surrounding Dave and please comment! :D</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Homestuck](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/4904) by Andrew Hussie. 



I am not one to dither in stupid, trite, painfully-long expositions, but I fear I must in regards to the day it all began. This day isn't the beginning to some crazy story of life and death as you may expect, especially since this is all leading up to Sburb. However, this day is immeasurably important to me and my bro. I suppose this is overplayed, but it started out completely normal.  
I was 23 and already a big game player in the online sex world what with my widely known _Smuppet_ company. You could say I was pretty well off, I had a nicely sized apartment bathed in absolute obscurity and downright bullshit. I lived alone with only my plethora of outrageously colored _Smuppets_ and my.....Cal, to keep me company.  
I don't know where Cal came from. He was just, kinda _always_ there. He raised me because fuck knows where my parents are. I tried Googling some scary as shit puppets like Cal but to no avail. At this point, I kinda just accepted him as a totally strange and potentially divine being. As if that makes any sense.  
Let's get back to the Land of Plot and Actual Fucking Communication. I was sitting in my apartment, managing my various websites that may or may not hold some blatantly pornagraphic elements to it that include puppets, when Cal came up behind me and scared me half to death.  
"Fuck!" I yelled out in surprise, "What is it Cal??"  
Cal, because he was a puppet, could not talk nor make facial expressions, but one found that Cal had an eerie talent of getting his point across with body movements. He shuffled his hips and zipped across the room in an elaborate and somehow desperate dance. It was then that I noticed the tiny pair of glasses in his hands. They paralleled my shades almost exactly and I wondered where Cal could've gotten such a small pair and why. Cal stopped dancing, frustrated that he couldn't get his point across through his undecipherable gestures. He moved across the room and pointed at an old record I kept hanging on the wall and then moved across the room to point at a bumper sticker on my turn tables that read "Strider's Records", my favorite record shop.  
"What, you want me to go to uncle Strider's place with knock offs of my shades?" Cal nodded and I sighed. _Just another day in my life_ I thought. I grabbed my jacket and headed out the door.

***

Being an internet pornstar and generally attractive made it hard to walk down the street. Everywhere I went I got dirty glances or winks or whatever struck your fancy. Moms with their hands over their children's eyes, teenage girls seductively glancing at me, and, occasionally, a dude who would give me a nod of approval. I shook my head and gave a little smile. _If they only realized how weird I_ actually _am_. No matter though. So long as I kept my head down and didn't talk to anyone, I'd be fine.  
I always found it surreal to walk down the streets of Texas. I had lived there all my life and the place was always changing. New shops, new restaurants, new _streets_. The only constant was Strider's Records.  
David Strider was a nice old man. He had dimpled cheeks and a plump stature that, overall, somehow reminded me of dumplings. He'd served in the war and frequently told me stories that greatly resembled _Band of Brothers_. So much so that I actually think he's retelling the movie. Dave was always there for me though, especially when Cal couldn't be. When I was growing up in school, food was hard to come by when you were so young without money or a job. I usually ended up eating what was given to me at school and Cal would help as much as he could during vacation times. Scrounging in garbage cans ain't fun, I tell you that much. But then I met Dave. He didn't give me food or anything like that. He gave me a job and taught me that everyone had their cross to bear. He let me sleep at his home until I could afford a small apartment. If Cal was my mother, David Strider was my father.  
As I got closer and closer to Strider's Records, I noticed a large, looming cloud of smoke. Oh God. Did something happen to...I started running towards the record shop. Nothing meant anything anymore. The cold air, the judgmental glances, the inevitable of change or other philosophical bullshit like that. All the matter was that Dave was okay. That's the only thing that mattered. I ran and ran and ran knowing what I would eventually see.  
There was a crowd around a hole in the ground. I dove through the crowd, wanting to see it with my own eyes.  
"Hey, what the fuck!?" I heard someone yell. The disgruntled crowd looked at disapprovingly at me when I fell into the hole.  
Finally someone called, "Ha! Look! It's Dirk Strider, the guy who does all the gay pornos. What the fuck are you doing here?" It was a young girl, about 16 of age. I heard other people taunting me, as if the giant fucking hole in the ground wasn't there any more.  
Filled with anger I yelled, "Why am I of so much importance right now???? Why doesn't some cunt call the fucking police right now? I mean, a giant hole in the ground where a record shop used to be has got to be some major emergency that needs sleuthing by the cops. I hardly think my job holds any relevance right now."  
The crowd looked puzzled for a second until some man finally asked, "What hole? And what record shop?"  
"Strider's Records, that's what record shop. And the hole is all around...." I looked around and realized there was no hole. _What?_ I looked around in horror and realized that I was in an empty lot.  
"Um," the same man said, "I don't believe there was ever a Strider's Records here," he snickered and the crowd broke out laughing. People were jeering about how all the gay puppet sex was ruining my brain.  
Perplexed and humiliated, I ask the crowd why they were there then.  
The girl answered this time, "We heard a baby crying and this lot walked over to find the City's shame, Dirk Strider, with a baby."  
"A baby..." I whispered. I looked around and my eyes rested on a stroller with a leg sticking out of it. A _baby's_ leg. Oh shit. I walked over to the stroller and looked to find a baby that looked strikingly like me wearing the shades Cal gave me. _Oh shiiiiiiiit_. I had to get out of there, but I couldn't keep the baby alone. I shook my head and allowed whatever craziness I was contracting consume me and boomed with a voice like lighting, "YEP. YOU'RE ALL THINKING CORRECTLY WITH YOUR ROTTED THINK PANS. THIS BABY BOY RIGHT HERE BELONGS TO ME, AND HE IS MY BROTHER. HIS NAME IS DAVE STRIDER AND YOU WILL ALL TREAT HIM WITH FUCKING RESPECT. NOW GET OUT OF THE WAY." I took the stroller into my hands and ran into the crowd.


	2. A Fool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk deals with the stress building up as a result of the day. He finds a letter in Dave's stroller....

I ran back to my apartment, Lil' Dave crying his eyes out because of all the bumping. But I couldn't stop. I had to get back home. The elevator was slower than I'd had liked, but I dared not take the stairs. I had been warned about stairs and I refused to use them. I watched the numbers tick up to the hundredth floor and the doors slid open; I ran out and bounded down the hall to my room, where I opened the door and slammed it shut and proceeded crying on the floor.

It wasn't the manliest maneuver, but it was the best I could do. I mean, my paternal figure had _died_ and I couldn't even hold a funeral without people thinking I'm nuts because he never existed in the first place? I couldn't even believe myself. I—  
" _WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH_!" The cry broke my thoughts and it hit me. _I had a kid to deal with now_. After I second I realized how pathetic I was. I had no partner to raise this kid, no prior parenting experience, and no one who could teach me. In other words, I was screwed. 

I walked over to the little baby, with the same surreal feeling I got when I walk down the streets. A strange and foreboding sort of nostalgia. When I saw him, I started crying even harder. There was no way this baby was going to grow up well. I couldn't believe I'd said all that stuff down there, he could've been raised by a better family. Hell, maybe he'd find someone like the original owner of the name I so rashly gave him. But, I had a feeling that this had happened for some weird important reason. Kinda like how Cal had raised me. I laughed a bit through my tears. _Maybe the kid'll save the world!_ I laughed at the futility of my attempts at understanding anything. Maybe the crowd was right, gay sex was screwing with my brain. 

At this time, I hoisted up the baby into my arms. He couldn't have been older than a day. His eyes were an unearthly red and his hair was as white as paper. Albino? Whatever he was, he cried _a lot_. I tried to calm him down but he cried even harder. Panicking I looked around for a place to put him and ended up setting him back down in the stroller. I heard a crinkling noise and looked down in the stroller to find a small slip of paper, once neatly folded but now crumple from the plump baby ass of my younger brother. I set the baby down and uncrinkleified the paper and it read:

_Dear Mr. Dirk Strider,  
I apologize for the humiliating event I just put you through, but if all those people had found out about Sburb, it would have been catastrophic to the Alpha timeline in which you, hopefully, reside in. I realize that I have placed you in a rather disagreeable situation, what with your new found guardianship, but there was no other way. I have left you with this baby for many reasons, but I have not the time to explain them all. So I will describe three of them. One; through means that you will not understand at the time, this baby is your biological son and biological father. Two; since this event has happened in my time already, if I hadn't dropped him in your care, you would have been doomed and eventually would wither like the rest of your timeline. Three: this boy, Dave as you will name him, is a very important instigator in the end of the world and, subsequently, the beginning of it. You will not understand at this time, but you will many years from now. 13 to be precise. And 13 years from this day, September 13, you will receive a game called Sburb. It is vital to the perpetuation of reality that you preorder two copies of this game weeks in advanced. I pray that you remember this card. Thank you and value you the time you have with Dave._

_In the name of The Two First Guardians of Earth, written by Rose Lalonde, inspired by John Egbert's ectoclone experience, and with love from A1, A2, B1, and B2. But especially from your bro(s), Dave Strider and Davesprite._

_p.s. keep calm and katana on_  
 _p.p.s. caw caw motherfucker!_  
 _p.p.p.s. stfu davesprite this is like serious and shit_  
 _p.p.p.p.s. haha look how much i care dave shit wait until we get to eight vriska'll come running_  
 _p.p.p.p.p.s. were not getting there because im ending it here disregard this cawing fucker bro and focus on roses serious shit up above_  
 _p.p.p.p.p.p.s. Rose here, don't forget that young Dave is probably hungry._  
 _p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s. oh shit were gonna do it dave write one last p.s. you know you want to_  
 _p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s. Hahahaha, who said Dave got to 8e the 8th person to comment ;;;;)_

A bit perplexed at the many p.s.'s and very perplexed at the supposed "serious shit above", I laughed. I don't quite know why I laughed, but I did. Maybe it was the absurdity of the situation? Perhaps the nonsensical, black magic, fuckery the letter brought into my life? Whatever it was, there I was, laughing like a fool. Not even like a fool, I was a fool. A fool for taking the baby, a fool for believing the letter. A fool was what I was born as, and a fool I will forever remain. 

Toward the end of my panic attack, I heard the crying of young Bro and decided to heed the advice of "Rose" and started considering my options. _Can babies fucking have normal food? Can they drink normal milk? Shit, when was the last time I even bought anything besides apple juice and Doritos?? I need to get my diet back on track and oh shit I've lost track of my thoughts._ I furiously ran a hand through my hair. I was so angry! I didn't know why someone would lump me with a baby, or even how they would! Even if I'd been through some freaky times with Cal, this was by far the freakiest! And hadn't Cal _known_ about this?? He'd told me to go out in the first place! 

I took a deep breath and remembered something that old man Strider had taught me, "The greatest fear for man like you, Dirk, is that you will destroy your own soul before you ever have the chance to help save that of your friends." I realized that was what I was doing now, destroying myself and baby Bro. It hadn't even been three hours since I'd gotten Dave, and I was already flipping the fuck out. I steeled myself and stopped crying. I picked myself up and went to the nearest mall, determined to get lil' Dave the best I could offer.


	3. The Wine Cooler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk adjusts to his new life as a guardian. He also realizes the only real way to get a wine cooler, yelling at a store clerk with a baby strapped to your body.

It's amazing how smelly a baby could get.

It'd been about six months since Dave plopped into my life and, for better or worse, it's been awful. God, you know I love him to death, but the sleepless nights and smelly diapers are killing me! Dave was many things at this age; an early walker, an epic thrower of sick beats, a lovable son of a bitch (his cheeks are so adorable and chubby and gahhhhh!). But, above all, _Dave was a crier_. I'd feed him some formula and he starts crying, I set him down so I can use the bathroom and he's crying. I have to be holding him _every, goddamn second of the day_ , or he'd whine his eyes out! It's become white noise to me. Just.....ughhhhhhnhbjhhhhjhgggyhhhhhh! I CANT HAVE MY BOYFRIEND(S) OVER ANYMORE, LEST BABY DAVE DROPS A SHIT IN HIS CRIB!!

But this isn't to say Dave wasn't the most precious thing currently alive (goddamn, baby me must've been _gorgeous_ ). He was, without a doubt, the best little baby. I just can't really describe it. It's like those old bullshit maxims actually do mean something. Like, suddenly, the saying "Nothing worth having comes easily" suddenly makes _absolute sense_. If I were to describe Dave, I would say he was my murderer and my salvation.

To sum up having a kid; It ruins everything, in the nicest way. And it also drives you batshit.  
Ok, I sound crazy, I know. I'm too crazy tired to make up some witty and ironic comment about parenting and I'll just relay this story.

***

Dave began walking after about sixth months and was rambunctious to say the least. He was running around the apartment like a madman! Er..madbaby. In order to keep Dave from accidentally killing himself on my many weapons, I made the executive decision to sacrifice my kitchen and turn it into a sort of in-home armory. Seriously, there were swords _everywhere_ in there. The fridge especially.

After the great sacrifice of the fridge I realized I'd eliminated the only source of cooling for Dave's baby formula. Good going, Dirk. I decided that I had to go buy one of those wine coolers, but, like, put baby formula in it. I slightly chuckled at the idea but knew it was pretty much the cheapest solution to my problem, so I decided to go to the liquor store to find one.

You'd be surprise how many strange looks a 6'4 dude with a hat that read "I'm not gay, but my boyfriend is", biker gloves, anime shades, and skinny jeans, with a baby packed safely on his chest, gets at a liquor store. Actually, you wouldn't be. It's pretty strange. Especially since a lot of people knew me as the "gay porn guy" or "sex toy dude" or "that guy I fucked a few months ago", that fact pretty much amplifies my strangeness level to, and don't quote me on this, over 9000. But I did it anyways.

Once inside the store, I asked one of the store clerks to direct me to the wine coolers. He was slightly shorter than me, but a hecka lot burlier. He seemed about forty years or maybe a bit older, but he didn't seem to recognize me.

"Wait, why?" asked the clerk in a deep voice.

Slightly confused, I said, "Uh, because I need a wine cooler," as more of a question than a reply.

"Well, uh okay. But don't you have a baby?" he gestured at my baby pack.

"Obviously,"

"But do you really wanna get intoxicated with a baby to take care of? And won't your uh..." He sounded as though he was going to say 'lady' but noticed my hat and trailed off. He began again with slightly more confidence than before, as if he resolved something, "Sir, I don't think it's responsible for a man to become intoxicated when he has such a young baby in his care. Maybe you should consider consulting your _partner_ ," he stressed this as if the word tasted bad in his mouth, "before you do this."

Naturally, I was red hot pissed. What right did this guy have to judge my choices? And when did I even say I was going to buy any liquor?? I heard the way he said partner too. Red. Hot. Pissed. I tightened my fists and my face must've contorted meanly because the store clerk stepped back a bit. "Who are you to even _say_ any of that!? I am your _motherfucking customer_ and I demand that I be treated with respect. Who even said I had a partner!? Who said I was buying liquor!? For your goddamn information, snoop, I am buying that wine cooler to keep my baby brother _alive_. It will be, if you would dare to imagine, a home for his _formula_. You are also talking to a 23 year old _owner AND creator_ of the _Smuppet_ company, who also doubles as a gay pornstar. You will NOT be teaching me about what is the _"correct"_ way to raise my brother, nor what is responsible of me. I am damn good parent and will not be questioned! Now, take me to the goddamn wine coolers so I will never have to see your ugly-ass face ever again!" I yelled angrily. And if the man didn't looked scared already, I added, "And you're damn right I'll be having a word with your higher-ups about this debacle."

Needless to say, I got my wine cooler. And I got it for free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was fine  
> I pulled myself together  
> Just in time  
> To throw myself away  
> Once my perfect world was gone I knew  
> You ruined everything  
> In the nicest way
> 
> You should know  
> How great things were before you  
> Even so  
> They're better still today  
> I can't think of who I was before  
> You ruined everything  
> In the nicest way
> 
> Bumps in the road remind us  
> The worst of the best behind us  
> Only good things will find us  
> Me and you
> 
> Days will be clear and sunny  
> We're gonna need more money  
> Baby you know it's funny  
> All those stories  
> Coming true
> 
> Despite my better efforts  
> It's all for you  
> The worst kind of cliché  
> I'll be with you till the day you leave  
> You ruined everything  
> In the nicest way
> 
> This is the song I was listening while I wrote this chapter. cx it's "You Ruined Everything, In The Nicest way" by Jonathan Colton.


	4. School

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cal writes a letter to Dirk and Dave's first day of school happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> READ THIS BEFORE YOU START. THIS IS IMPORTANT.
> 
> IN ONE PARAGRAPH, IT MAY SOUND LIKE IM SLAMMING THE CHURCH, BUT IM NOT. I AM ACTUALLY VERY CHRISTIAN. DO NOT BE OFFENDED PLEASE.
> 
> Thank you.

Ch 4

Love is really a beautiful thing. It drives the manliest of men to their knees. And damn, was I manly.

Dave was now two years of age and he was _adorable beyond fucking comprehension_. I never really thought of myself as the kind of guy who would dote on anyone, but after Dave entered the picture, my fate was sealed. Since I had a decent amount of money (and more coming in because the sex toy business was picking up), there really were no limits as to how much I could spoil him. I gave him _so many fucking Smuppets_ for Christmas, it wasn't even funny. That baby was _drowning_ in plump, puppet, proboscis. After he got out of diapers and the teething phase was over, I had been able to buy him more clothes that wouldn't get ruined as easily. He was now wearing an outfit that had a cute little heart on it.

I had also taught him how to work the turntables, and he was pretty good at it, for a two year old. Dave had taken after me in many ways.

Also, he had learned how to say a few words! Imagine my surprise when he's suddenly calling me "Big Bro", it's just sooooooo _sugoi_!! I was just so happy all the time now. Cal had also taken up the role as a grandparent fairly quickly, though I kind of noticed that he was disappearing more often. I thought it was strange, but one day, Cal dropped a bomb on me.

Cal zipped into my room in his usual, strange fashion, but this time he seemed a bit nervous. How even does a puppet look nervous? You really need to see it to understand. To describe it briefly, Cal would zip around faster than normal and his jaw would be clamped shut, as opposed to his normal, loose jaw. So, he came in with a slip of paper. He danced around a bit before leaving the room quickly and slamming the front door. Confused, I took the paper, feeling a bit of déjà vu from two years ago. It read as so;

**Hey Dirk, I'm real sorry about this, but Im going to have to leave you for a while. I'll come back in a few years though. Till then, old friend.**

**Love, Cal**

_What?_

Thoroughly confused, both at the fact that Cal had actually written something (for he'd never done that before), and also at the letters content. Cal was leaving me? Cal, who had been through thick and thin with me, who'd raised me?? I was completely struck. At first, I didn't even know what to do. I couldn't imagine life without Cal for _years_. I mean, his presence was a universal constant! He was just always there! And...and...and...

_He was pretty much my mother._

It was then that the sadness struck me. I got up from my bed and moseyed about my house for a bit until I felt something tickling at my calfs. I was relieved to find that it was Dave. I picked him up and I hugged him hard. Dave laughed like toddlers do, not understanding the gravity of the loss I just, suddenly, had to deal with. After the hug had lasted long enough to make Dave uncomfortable, he asked, "Big Bro, what's wrong?" He stumbled over his words, but it remained coherent enough.

I answered in a voice that sounded slightly needy, "Nothing Dave," I sighed and released Dave, "Cal's just leaving for a bit, it made Big Bro sad."

"Oh," Dave replied quietly. He stopped for a second, searching for words, "Does that mean you'll leave me?" after making this strange, baby revelation, Lil Dave's eyes filled with tears, he cried out in a voice full of fear, "Please don't leave me!!" He grabbed onto my legs and tried to climb up me.

I broke.

Dave's forlorn words after Cal's bomb had dropped on me was too much. I picked Dave up and hugged him tighter than before, I tried desperately to hide my tears, "No way. It ain't proper of a Jedi master to leave his padawan like that. You're stuck with me for a long time, kid."

Dave nodded into my chest and I stood there, holding Dave for a minute and then letting him down. That night, Dave slept in my bed.

***

Three years passed and Dave was now five. The year was 2000, and it was the first day of school.

I woke up early, around 7:00ish. I brushed my teeth and went out to the kitchen.  
The stove, microwave-oven, sick, and dish washer were the only things kept clear in the kitchen. I cracked a few eggs (that were, prior to cracking, kept cool in my FREE wine cooler) and began making some omelets. After breakfast was finished, I went to go wake Dave up.

Oh my God, _Dave was pissed_. He was the kind of kid who never woke up early and, when he was, he became a screaming devil. I came into his room and shook him a little and he damn near poked my fucking eye. Dave crawled further under his sheets.

I sighed, realizing this would be hard to do. So I gently...fuck this. _Fine_ , you're right! I went straight to yelling. _"David Rosalia Strider, you will get up and you will get up now. Understood?"_

Dave got to school early that day.  


Yeah, it was pretty sad to see him go away, but I was praying that he could find some friends. Preferably ones with, young, single, gay, male parents. Just kidding. Not really. But the school was nice, the teachers seemed kind enough. Some of them a bit wary because they did know who I was. Knowing what kind of bullying Dave would have had to face in later years, I had asked the school to make it known to all the parents who I was. Because there's no bigger "fuck you" than being the one who makes himself known before the others can find ways to get to him. It was like John Hancock signing the Declaration, wanting everyone to know who he was. Fuck yeah. 

I had wanted to get Dave an education at a private school, but the church and I weren't exactly "friends" considering that I was a gay man AND a pornstar. Let's just say I got a lot of mail telling me when the confessional was open. Anyways, I kinda suspecting the bullying for being raised by a gay big brother would be a bit less at a school surrounded by others who might be gay than at a school where, even if someone was gay there, they had been taught to dislike it all their life. 

I also made sure that the middle school and high school that Dave would be going into were gay friendly. You know. Just in case Dave likes boys. Which I'm so not crazy biased about. Seriously. I'll just find some other guy to talk about Jason Priestly with. 

After dropping Dave off, I pretty much did nothing. I watched tv and updated a few of my blogs and that was it. 

In other words, it sucked. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your feedback! I'm planning on writing stories like these for ALL the kids (beta and alpha) which all end when the guardian enters the game. And, if people really like these fics, I will consider writing stories for some of your fave trolls (maybe all if youre lucky!).


	5. I love you just as much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave and Davesprite pay Dirk a little visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is so shitty, I am so sick right now. I'll probably be better in a few days. please give me feedback, it really helps. Also, Davesprite and future dave will get more development in the next chapter. I was just too tired to write well. :(

I was laying down on the couch. That's it. Oh, I was naked too. If that counts.

I had gotten so awfully lonely in Dave's absence that I called over some of my "suitors" and, well, we got a little frisky. They left right after the sex. And I was just laying there, naked, on the couch.

_Goddamn_.

I was such a failure. Like, shit. I had just been fucked by, I don't even wanna know how many guys while my lil bro was at his first day of school. I mean, sure, I had a pretty good amount of money and was set for life, but still. It's pathetic. I rolled around, groaning. My ass hurt so much, I couldn't sit down. I had become a lump. Seriously, is this what happens to people after their kid leaves for the first time. What the fuck am I going to do when Dave wants to go to college??? My butt would be ruined. And oh my God, I'm gonna be _forty one_ when Dave's in college!! So. Fucking. Old.

I rolled off the couch onto the floor. Damn. That hurt. I stayed there for a second, reveling in how little time it took me to revert back into an asshole when Dave left. After a little while, I realized I had to go pick Dave up from school. I laboriously picked myself up and put on a long jacket, pants, and shoes. Too lazy to put on underwear. I was off.

Dave's school was literally a block away. I really couldn't believe I was going to walk into a kindergarten classroom _commando_. Don't people get arrested for that?? Fuck.

When I reached the school, I walked over to the area where I was told to pick up Dave in the email I received the day before. My stride became quicker, eager to see my Lil Bro. The parking lot was loaded with concerned mothers and little children, and it was hard to find Dave. I looked around, calling his name, when I felt a tap on my back, I tried to turn around, but I was pulled back into some greenery by a red blur.

"Fuck!" I yelped, hoping none of the parents had heard that. I looked at my attacker, a boy who was roughly thirteen, wearing red pajamas with a peculiar red gear on it. He had white blonde hair and his eyes where hidden by some badass shades. He looked worried, and I'm guessing I looked like a psychopath. "Who the fuck are you??" I asked with a voice like gravel.

The boy smirked and he flicked his wrist a bit. That's when something crazy happened. Time around me seemed to stop, except for me and the boy. He stood up and motioned for me to do the same, which I did. The boy's smile faded and his lips pursed. He spoke in a soft, smooth voice with the same heavy, Texan accent Dave and I had, "Okay, so you don't know me. Well you do, but not really. You know that letter you got?"

"Answer _me_ first, who are you??"

The boy sighed. He removed his shades and put them up in his hair, revealing a set of candy red irises. Just like Dave's. "So, I'm Dave Strider. From the fucking future," when I looked confused he said, "Yeah, I know, it's pretty fucking awesome. Don't ask how because I could go on for hours about it, just know that I am your little brother and I've come to visit you for a bit as well as impart an epic message to you."

"Shit," I said. I mean, I could believe it, I'd seen weirder things. But _damn_ Dave became a handsome little shit. "So what the hell is this about?"

Dave looked down for a second, his air becoming a bit darker. He looked at me again ands food a bit straighter, as if trying to gain my respect. "That letter you got, from me and Rose, it left out something that I couldn't really say unless I was here," he looked down at his shoes again, "I wanted to say how much I loved you and I miss you."

Fuck.

Fuck. I felt so bad. It seriously hurt to listen to this kid say this stuff to me. I wanted to help him desperately but knew I couldn't because I wasn't the same man as he knew me. Dave walked over and gave me a big hug. He stood there for a second and I hugged him back. He was trembling and I could feel him forcing himself to hold back the tears. Then I realized something; why would he miss me? The gears in my head turned for a second and when they clicked, my shades nearly fell off.

I must die when Dave is thirteen. Shit. Shit shit shit. Oh my God. This was so hard to handle so I ended up hugging future Dave harder. Facing death is supposedly hard when it's months in advance, I got to know years in advance. I would be forced to count done the days until.....whatever happens. I pushed Dave away and examined him. 

"What...what are you doing?" He asked.  
I sighed and looked him in the eyes, "I'm looking for scars and injuries. Making sure you're okay."

"But..why?" Dave asked, still confused.

"Because it must be tough without me and no one to patch you up."

He looked a bit shocked, like someone just answered an impossible question on Jeopardy. Dave obviously hadn't thought out his plan at all. "How...do you know that?"

I rolled my eyes, attempting to keep a straight face for him, "You said you missed me. That means that I have gone, meaning that I either left you or....passed. Obviously it wasn't the former," I walked over to him and put my hands on his shoulders, "how do you even survive without me?"

Dave put his shades back on, an old Strider trick to avoid people seeing you cry. I was about to offer some comforting words when I saw an orange flash. Dave jumped back a bit and then shook his head, " _Davesprite?_ "

I turned around to see a guy that looked a lot like Dave. Except he was orange, had wings, and had a big white bandage wrapped around his stomach that was covered in some sort of orange substance. He spoke in a voice almost identical to Dave's, just a bit more shrill, "Yep, you're not the only one with timey powers, Dave. You're also not Bro's only bro," he looked at me and nodded his head. He turned back towards Dave, "The sick thing is that I remember doing this when I was a human. Like, worst fucking déjà vu of my life. Actually, nevermind, the worst déjà vu was when I met myself for the first time." The bird guy came closer to me and smiled.

" _Who are you_?" I asked, as if meeting one Dave wasn't hard enough..

The bird guy laughed and smiled sadly, "I'm Davesprite, don't call me Dave because I'm not. I already had a fight about that with someone I love. I also am your brother, but I'm not as important, I guess. Not as special to you. But I came to say hi anyways," Davesprite shied away a bit.

I nearly cried. Even if this Davesprite guy wasn't Dave, he was Dave. That doesn't make any sense. But I guess, every Dave is important to me. Talk about parental crisis here. I pulled Davesprite and Dave in for a hug. I whispered to Davesprite, "I love you just as much."


End file.
